Making friends, falling in love, rinse, and repeat. For what? What is the end? What is the answer? What is life?
I know that many people have many different ideas of why we are here but I don't and I am not coming to terms with it. Why should I worry? I don't do anything beyond the normal human vices such as soda and mass amounts of television. I have had more horrors in my life than most people and I have grown past them and become my own person.
I read, I write, I breath. I also think fondly about fictitious characters in books as if they were real and how awesome it would be to hang out with them. I want so badly to go on a death defying adventure, but alas I don't think it will ever happen.
I do however keep having the same dream lately. I am sitting on top of a sand dune with a camera draped around my neck. My sunglasses glint as the sun moves across the sky. I snapped some photos and stand up. I am suddenly standing knee deep in an ice cold river inches away from a black bear rolling in pure white snow. I snap another shot. I close my eyes and I am just about to jump out of an airplane camera in hand. I jump and soar closer to the earth at breakneck speeds capturing every moment I can as I descend. I reach for my parachute but the cord is gone. I scream and hit the ground and that is when I wake up. I have had this dream for almost three weeks now.
I have been sitting and thinking about what my mind is trying to tell me and after much deliberation I have an answer. I need to go on a trip. I need to spend too much money on a nice camera and go and enjoy life. I need to spend a year alone taking photos and finding out who I am. I have never really left Washington state and I most likely never will but I want to. Not that I want to leave my life behind I just sometimes want to put it on hold and experience the things that I have always wanted to and remember them by compiling a years worth of pictures and experiences. How on earth am I going to achieve this you may ask. Well honestly I wont. I will just keep dreaming...