So as most people know by now my life is in a weird transition that I never really saw coming. Being up and down, losing many hours of sleep, and close to 25 pounds. I am a wreck and wasting away but something is keeping me tethered to this place.
I have good friends and it has been a long time since I could honestly say that. Friends that are actually standing by my side when I need them to and not just going on about their own lives with no worry for the people that helped get them to where they are today.
A well placed kiss and a warranted hug work wonders on this soul I have come to find out. When they say "laughter is the best medicine" I can wholeheartedly agree with that statement. When we laugh we lose worry, we lose what is lingering overhead, at least for that moment.
I know I should be feeling things differently right now but I don't really have any way of knowing what is wrong and what is right. All the things I have told myself that I was never going to do or be part of I am smack dab in the middle of right now and it doesn't concern me as much as I thought it would. I guess that somewhere along the lines I grew up more than I thought I could.
My heart wants to heal and it also wants to be healed. I can only do so much and not get something in return. I need validation and I constantly crave the idea of moving so far beyond where I am right now that I forget the pain the clutches my heart so hard that I weep lasting tears in my nightmares.
The beat of my life is bumping along but I can really find the right time to join it. I just need to get steady and do the things I have always wanted without the vice grips that I attached so many years ago. Fate is finally screaming at me and this time I will not ignore it. Hand me that glass of chocolate milk and thanks to whoever it was that changed whatever they did so I could feel what I have always thought not real.
I have good friends and it has been a long time since I could honestly say that. Friends that are actually standing by my side when I need them to and not just going on about their own lives with no worry for the people that helped get them to where they are today.
A well placed kiss and a warranted hug work wonders on this soul I have come to find out. When they say "laughter is the best medicine" I can wholeheartedly agree with that statement. When we laugh we lose worry, we lose what is lingering overhead, at least for that moment.
I know I should be feeling things differently right now but I don't really have any way of knowing what is wrong and what is right. All the things I have told myself that I was never going to do or be part of I am smack dab in the middle of right now and it doesn't concern me as much as I thought it would. I guess that somewhere along the lines I grew up more than I thought I could.
My heart wants to heal and it also wants to be healed. I can only do so much and not get something in return. I need validation and I constantly crave the idea of moving so far beyond where I am right now that I forget the pain the clutches my heart so hard that I weep lasting tears in my nightmares.
The beat of my life is bumping along but I can really find the right time to join it. I just need to get steady and do the things I have always wanted without the vice grips that I attached so many years ago. Fate is finally screaming at me and this time I will not ignore it. Hand me that glass of chocolate milk and thanks to whoever it was that changed whatever they did so I could feel what I have always thought not real.